The year of new beginnings...I think not!

Is it just me or is this one of the hardest years yet? It seems to me that we are continually surrounded by challenges and obstacles! They say that 2008 is the year of 'new beginnings' and yet to me it feels like it is the year of 'difficult'. Not that this has proved unprofitable! Rather it has presented me with the opportunity to take a good look at life from every perspective - to measure it's worth and to refocus.

I have learnt that courage is critical and that we need to have courageous conversations with our shareholders, our managers, our spouses, our family, our bank (ugh) and our friends. I have seen that true leadership flows from the ability to lead in difficult as well as favourable circumstances. However, the most valuable lesson learnt this year is the value of relationships.

The most invaluable lesson thus far considers our spiritual relationship with God, He is a consistent and undeniably valuable source! I also recognise that I would be a lesser person without the significant people in my life. It has been critical for me to not strive in this season, but to rather reinforce the things that really matter - time with God and then time with those I love. Interestingly enough, this has brought the greatest return - curious!

May this note prompt you to consider your circumstances, looking at where you spend your time and energy and remind you that our lives are fleeting but our relationships are eternal.

Sample of the Personal Effectiveness Toolkit

A list of values

I have just finished writing an article on determining our core values. One of the challenges is not knowing how to express our values. Here is a list of 300 values that may help you determine your top five values. Underline the values that stand out to you and then reduce the list through a process of prioritisation till you are left with five core values.

Abundance
Acceptance
Accomplishment
Achievement
Acknowledgement
Activity
Adaptability
Adoration
Adventure
Affection
Affluence
Aggressiveness
Alertness
Altruism
Ambition
Amusement
Anticipation
Appreciation
Approachability
Assertiveness
Attentiveness
Attractiveness
Availability
Awareness

Balance
Beauty
Being the best
Belonging
Boldness
Bravery
Brilliance

Calmness
Candour
Capability
Caring
Carefulness

Certainty
Challenge
Charity
Charm
Chastity
Cheerfulness
Cleanliness
Clear-mindedness
Cleverness
Comfort
Commitment
Compassion
Completion
Composure
Concentration
Confidence
Conformity
Connection
Consciousness
Consistency
Contentment
Continuity
Contribution
Control
Conviction
Coolness
Cooperation
Cordiality
Correctness
Courage
Courtesy
Craftiness
Creativity
Credibility
Cunning
Curiosity

Daring
Decisiveness
Deference
Delight
Dependability
Depth
Desire
Determination
Devotion
Devoutness
Dignity
Diligence
Directness
Discipline
Discovery
Discretion
Diversity
Dominance
Dreaming
Drive
Duty

Eagerness
Economy
Ecstasy
Education
Effectiveness
Efficiency
Elation
Elegance
Empathy
Encouragement
Endurance
Energy
Enjoyment
Entertainment
Enthusiasm
Excellence
Excitement
Exhilaration
Experience
Expertise
Exploration
Expressiveness
Extravagance
Extroversion
Exuberance

Fairness
Faith
Fame
Family
Fashion
Fearlessness
Ferocity
Fidelity
Fierceness
Financial independence
Firmness
Fitness
Flexibility
Flow
Fluency
Focus
Fortitude
Frankness
Freedom
Friendliness
Fun

Gallantry
Generosity
Gentility
Giving
Graceful
Gratitude
Growth
Guidance

Happiness
Harmony
Health
Heart
Helpfulness
Heroism
Holiness
Honesty
Honor
Hopefulness
Hospitality
Humility
Humour
Hygiene

Imagination
Impact
Impartiality
Independence
Industry
Inquisitiveness
Insightfulness
Inspiration
Integrity
Intelligence
Intensity
Intimacy
Introversion
Intuition
Intuitiveness
Inventiveness
Investing

Joy
Justice

Keenness
Kindness
Knowledge

Leadership
Learning
Liberty
Liveliness
Logic
Longevity
Love
Loyalty

Making a difference
Mastery
Maturity
Meekness
Mellowness
Meticulousness
Mindfulness
Modesty
Motivation
Mysteriousness

Neatness
Nerve

Obedience
Open-mindedness
Optimism
Order
Organisation
Originality
Outrageousness

Passion
Peace
Perceptiveness
Perfection
Perseverance
Persistence
Persuasiveness
Philanthropy
Piety
Playfulness
Pleasantness
Pleasure
Poise
Polish
Popularity
Potency
Power
Practicality
Precision
Preparedness
Privacy
Proactivity
Professionalism
Prosperity
Prudence
Punctuality
Purity

Realism
Reason
Reasonableness
Recognition
Recreation
Refinement
Reflection
Relaxation
Reliability
Religiousness
Resilience
Resolution
Resolve
Resourcefulness
Respect
Rest
Restraint
Reverence
Richness
Rigor

Sacrifice
Saintliness
Satisfaction
Security
Self-control
Selflessness
Self-reliance
Sensitivity
Sensuality
Serenity
Service
Sexuality
Sharing
Shrewdness
Significance
Silence
Silliness
Simplicity
Sincerity
Skillfulness
Solitude
Soundness
Speed
Spirit
Spirituality
Spontaneity
Stability
Stealth
Stillness
Strength
Structure
Success
Support
Surprise
Sympathy
Synergy

Teamwork
Temperance
Thankfulness
Thoroughness
Thoughtfulness
Tidiness
Timeliness
Traditionalism
Tranquility
Trustworthiness
Truth

Understanding
Unflappability
Uniqueness
Unity
Usefulness
Utility

Valour
Variety
Victory
Vigour
Virtue
Vision
Vitality
Vivacity

Warmth
Watchfulness
Wealth
Willfulness
Willingness
Winning
Wisdom
Wittiness
Wonder

Youthfulness

Let me know what you come up with.
R

Thinking about Mistakes

“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” --Hugh White (1773 - 1840)

What are your thoughts on the mistakes we make?

Finding & Keeping Quality Clients

I conduct events called Conversations that Matter. Over the last six months I have gathered entrepreneurs together to engage in dialogue over issues that impact them directly.In every group, no matter which city I am in (Cape Town, PE, Durbs or Joburg) the same issues come up. How do I find QUALITY CLIENTS - but not only this HOW DO I KEEP THEM? I wanted to get your opinions on this one?

So let's start here...
a) How would you define a quality client
b) How does one find quality clients?
c) How does one keep quality clients?

Look forward to hearing from you!

Amazing Grace - the Movie

Just thought I'd make a referal. I went to see this fabulous movie on Sunday. Now before you think I have a tendency towards addiction, what with my Sudoku fettish and also a movie bent - these are really my only two vices - the rest of the time I am working (believe it or not).

Anyway - back to the movie, I think it is worth a see no matter what your religious orientation. I was inspired. The cast is phenomenal and Ioan Grufford is quickly becoming a hot favourite of mine.

The thing that you really stood out to me was the reality of what pioneering involves.William Wilberforce fought for over 15 years to see his one dream fulfilled. The rest of his life was spent on his second dream.

I have been running this business for just under two years and at times it has felt too long, to hard. The temptation to stop fighting is very real, and yet like "Wilber" - if I can be arrogant enough to refer to him and myself in the same sentence - I choose to push on - because the vision is strong and unrelenting.

There is a choice, but the choice is essentially no choice. The work must go on! (I hear an orchestral maneuver in the background).

Can you relate?

Let me know what you think once you've seen it.

Disengagement of the Workforce

I am intrigued by the worldwide statistics that are bandied about concerning the levels of engagement in the workplace related to the workforce. Australia - 14% actively engaged. USA - 11% Actively engaged. China - 9% actively engaged. No accurate studies have been conducted in SA - but the belief is that we are between 9 and 11%.

Active Engagement being described as representing those employees who have a sense of belonging, ownership and connectedness to their work and employers. Active disengagement referring to those who will go to great lengths to sabotage their companies.

The four points of the continuum would be on the far left Actively Disengaged, then Disengaged (basically people with the philosophy of work is a necessary evil) to Engaged (people who find some sense and purpose in work) to Actively Engaged (those who love what they do and see great opportunity for self expression in it).

I am seeing more and more people opting out of the corporate world - looking for an a feeling of ownership and connectedness to their work and so entering the world of entrepreneurship. Is this truly the way to engagement?

The challenge however is that if we hope to grow our businesses - then most likely we will need to employ others. The question is - how do we keep our workforce engaged?


I look forward to hearing your comments.

Thoughts from a SUDOKU fan

I am realising that life is really like the game of Sudoku. Now I don't know about you, but I have become a compulsive player. Sad to say it, but I actually have Sudoku books, Sudoku on my laptop, Sudoku on my PDA (and sometimes....I even dream in Sudoku squares).

When it comes to life, I realise that Sudoku is very much like life. For example, when you start out you play the easy games. These build confidence and also teach you the in's and out's. However, as you progress, the puzzles become trickier and trickier.

Typically the following happens:
a) Start puzzle with great gusto
b) Solve two or three blocks ... I believe that I am a SUDOKU genius
c) I am stuck...for the life of me I can't see a way out
d) Do I give up, go to sleep OR shall I persevere....
e) I keep going .... still can't see a single breakthrough
f) Finally, a breakthrough and the momentum picks up and VOILA - Hooray - another puzzle solved.
g).............sometimes, no HURRAY...as whooops - I find a mistake. Now the big dilemma comes...do I start again, can I backtrack and find my error and correct or do I toss the whole thing and take up chess?

For those of you struggling to make the link, I find life similar to this...
I start with gusto, things flow quite easily and the natural momentum of starting something new propels me forward. Then I get stuck....where to go...what to do...can I see a way through. How wonderful to know that if I just stick it out, I can get that breakthrough and solve another one of life's puzzles!

The Power of Personal Touch

As I build this business I am constantly reminded of the power of personal contact with your client.

We currently run Conversations that Matter, these are phenomenal times of meeting with the readers of Women Inc. Magazine and our training clients where we interact with one another sharing from our personal experiences and thoughts. I always leave these events floating.

Whether I have 15 or 50 people in a Conversation I am touched by the wisdom in the room and the power of each person to impact one another. Not only are these conversations about the message we bring, but more so they are about the message each participant brings to the next person.

Currently we are running four types of conversations across the country...

a) Conversations for Leaders

b) Conversations about Life

c) Conversations about Money

d) Conversations for Entrepreneurs

If you are interested in participating in these blogs, please call +27 11 646-7878

When the rain comes...

Today is the first day in ages that we have broken the back of this sweltering heat with glorious rain. Granted the thunderstorms and lightening can be a little unnerving – but essentially the rain is a welcome reprieve.

How often do our lives feel like we need the soothing touch of the long awaited showers?

The showers in my life are found in the small things...
- the sms of encouragement from a friend
- the smile from the cashier at the supermarket
- the cuddle with my precious niece
- the giggle at a ridiculous sitcom
- the joy of a project signed off
- the delight in my team working well together
- a skype message from my beautiful friends in Austria

What showers do you achingly wait for?

I just need three days…

Do you ever get that feeling – that if only I had three days – I would be OK.

Three days of no meetings…
Three days of no interruptions…
Three days of enough sleep…
Three days of eating right…
Three days of no deadlines…
Just three days

Finding an oasis

An oasis can also be referred to as a retreat, a refuge, a haven or sanctuary. I find that in the busyness of life today that we sorely need a place of rest and respite. One of my places of rest is in Port Elizabeth. It is here that I find peace and clarity of mind. The characteristics of this place to me lies not so much in the beauty of the place – though a walk on Sardinia beach can compete with the best of them. The wonder of this haven lies in the people that live here.

It is in PE that I visit friends who speak understanding belief and hope into my life. They accept and love uncompromisingly and they provide a peace to life while the rest of the world races on.

I am always amazed how tired I feel when I am here; I cannot sleep enough. Yet there is no guilt in this need of sleep – rather I feel relief that I have found a spot that I can let my guard down, where I can stop trying so hard and I can be at rest.

Where is your oasis?

Was it Real?

On the desktop of my computer, I have a photograph of the town of Mittersill. The photo represents the view from my December holiday spot at Schloss Mittersill. For those of us not schooled in the German language, Schloss means castle and Mittersill – well that is the name of the town.

Today, I am down on business in Cape Town – having a tough day. As my laptop opened up and I saw the image, my eyes welled up with tears. The immediate thought that came into my mind, “Was I really there?” quickly followed by, “I wish I was back there!”

My time in the Schloss was an oasis – a time of rest and peace. Wonderful days and nights spent with people that seemed to really ‘get me’. It is not even three weeks since my return and yet it seems like an age ago.

So easily our days are filled with demands, responsibilities, challenges and obstacles, not to mention the opportunities that present themselves. Personally, I find that I lose perspective and can feel overwhelmed so easily.

So what was different in Mittersill?

Firstly, I was in a different environment, a change in place opens us up to new ideas, thoughts and influences. Not to mention the excitement that comes with visiting a new culture, meeting new friends and seeing wonders for the first time.

Secondly, it was a spiritual place. It didn’t demand much of me physically or even emotionally, but the castle as a whole as well as the time with the people fed my spirit. I felt nourished and refreshed hearing the words of my Creator once again.

Thirdly, my being in Austria removed the constant interruptions of the day. No constant cell phone ring demanding my attention. I had limited internet connectivity and therefore a limited number of requests for my attention throughout the day.

Finally, in Mittersill I gave myself permission to rest. I allowed myself to not be driven. I fought the pressure to fill each day with meaning, every moment with activity. Interestingly enough, each day naturally had meaning and spontaneous activities and adventures emerged from the time spent there. I took the time to listen to my body, to sleep when I needed to and exercise when I needed it. This was no labour – just pure ease of living.

So thinking back on Mittersill, do I need to leave and go to a new city to experience the life and peace that I did there? Or, can I build a lifestyle and way of doing things that will bring the same sentiment to my day-to-day life at home?

The first thoughts above, about a new place, new people, new wonders – could easily be built into our lives. We are constantly meeting new people, especially in a country like South Africa. We can learn new things about others each day. Within our cities, we can look for new wonders. Essentially, I think we need to wear a ‘newness’ filter. I believe we can adopt a mindset that looks for the ‘new’ each day. There is a fabulous scripture written that speaks of God’s mercies being new every morning. How amazing to live in the wonder of that newness.
Secondly, can I quieten the emotional, physical and social demands on me, to make time to listen to the spiritual part within me? Can I find an oasis in my city, in my home that will allow my spirit to be fed? An amazing man that I met at the castle spoke of finding places where the air between us and God is thinner. These are spiritual places where we find it easier to hear and think. Could my home become such a place?

The third aspect is one that I definitely think I could build into my life. I feel guilty if I don’t carry my phone with me all the time or if I have not checked my emails every hour. The result is that I am always on the back foot. New requests and business keep coming in without me completely finishing what I started earlier that day. One of my mentors makes it her practice to only check her email three times a day. What a difference this would make as opposed to my compulsive pushing of the send/receive button in Outlook.

The final aspect is that of rest. So quickly I have started working 14 hour days again, making no time for exercise, very little time for rest and absolutely no room for my body to tell me what it needs. I know this has to change.

PS. One final thought, is that much of my time was spent with children. As I observed their delight in the world around them and everyday activities, I became lighter and delighted in the world around me too. Being a single woman with no children this proves difficult, but I know many parents who would love a ‘pseudo-aunt’ to step in and play with their children.

How about you?